Here, I thought I’d made up the term but I found several meanings for it already on the ole google.com 🙂
“Fear Of Being Offline,” when one’s addicted to social media,
“Fear Of Being Ordinary,” because ya can’t be happy till you’re a star,
“Fear Of Better Options,” very similar in meaning to its cousin term “FOMO” (which is of course, the fear of missing something) but can be a bit more paralyzing when it comes to decision making and my personal favorite-
“Fear Of Barack Obama” (this one needs no explanation, I’m sure.)
The kind of FOBO I talk about on this week’s episode can be destructive, as it keeps you from experiencing intimacy in friendships. If you’ve listened to Episode 8, you’ve already heard about my FOBO episode on the way to our church picnic.. It was such a strange thing. But I knew if I was dealing with that kind of fear and anxiety after being part of this church body for almost 20 years, then others must be dealing with it too. And God has given me a desire to help.
I started wondering, “What’s it like for younger moms who don’t have a lot of time between services on Sunday mornings? or young couples who are working all week long and can’t attend any Bible studies or events? What about someone who’s alone and new to town? What are they going through?”
We were made to be known, treasured, loved. It’s wired in there- so I came up with 3 steps that might help if you’re struggling with FOBO-
- Connect honestly with your self
- Connect honestly with your Maker
- Connect honestly with God’s people, then reach out humbly to others.
In a nutshell, this podcast is all about these 3 things- 1)Soulcare, where we learn to express our feelings and learn the language of the heart. 2)Spirituality, where we remind ourselves Whose we are, so we can move into our 3)Social Spaces confidently and humbly, out of a place of gratitude. This is why we’re here doing what we do. I love nothing more than discussing how the Gospel plays itself out in our relationships.
Unity must be a big thing to Jesus- it’s one of the very last things He prays about before He dies. In John 17, our Savior asks the Father to grant us unity, that we’d be one as they are One. In order to have unity in our homes, churches, neighborhood, we must overcome our FOBO and become “There you are” people.
A “Here I am” type person typically walks into a room and tries to figure out how to get people to meet her need to feel accepted, welcomed, loved…. but a “There you are” type person instead pursues others in love. Can you think of examples of each?
I had the pleasure of hearing Rosaria Butterfield speak at a Gospel Coalition conference this past summer…. Talk about a “There you are” person- she is great at it! One day, I snuck in to her workshop early and hid at the back of the room; literally sitting on the very last row in the room assigned to her. There were only a few of us in there at the time, but in a matter of minutes, I knew the hall would be overflowing as all Rosaria’s workshops are overflowing…..As soon as she entered the room, she saw me and walked right up to me with her arms outstretched. “Come join us,” she insisted.
“But, but…” I protested, “I was just going to sit back here quietly and eat my salad.”
She wouldn’t let up. “Well- we won’t care if you eat it up here with the rest of us. Please, you’re at a women’s conference. Here, do you need help carrying anything?” Rosaria simply would not take “No” for an answer. And it made me smile. How could I refuse? I made my way up to the front of the room with all the other early birds who’d no doubt, eaten already…. Rosaria made us all feel so welcome. Her teaching was brief and mostly interactive. The question and answer time made me feel like I was with an old friend. A short survey of the other attendees confirmed my suspicions that everyone else felt the same way. Do you know a “There you are” type like that?
Of course, Jesus Christ is the Master at “There You Are.” He’s truly the epitome of this style of relating. Read John’s eyewitness accounts of Jesus’ interactions with the hurting, the lonely, the untouchables of His day. And then remember how vulnerable He was on the Cross, how OPEN He was. I had a friend who taught kickboxing for a season. She reminded her students over and over to always keep their faces blocked- “Never leave yourself open,” she’d say.
And then there was Jesus, with His arms stretched out wide, then nailed down through to the wood. He couldn’t have been any more open, vulnerable. He was willing to take the risk of losing everything, including His very life and worse, He knew the Father’s Face would turn away, but He submitted to the Father’s will for our sakes. This is a man you can trust. Ask Him how to turn from your fear of being open.
It’s important to keep in mind the spiritual aspect of this – it’s a battle and the enemy of our souls really doesn’t want to lose it. If God wants our unity, satan no doubt, wants our division. in John 10:10, Jesus states plainly that while the devil seeks to steal, kill and destroy us, the Lord wants us to have life abundantly!!! And experiencing unity with our people in “comm- UNITY” is part of that plan.
Your words have power over the dominion of darkness so it really does make a difference when you confess your fears out loud. Jesus Himself used the Word of God as a sword against satan when He was being tempted in the desert.
And (sharp right turn here–) what a thrill to get to play my very first endorsement! It happens to be from one of my biggest heroes! Amy Grant has been a huge encouragement and on this week’s episode, I share a little bit about how shocked I am that she remembers my name when I run into her here and there around this crazy Nashville town.
I was so glad to learn she’s putting out a new Christmas record. Between hers, Christy Nockels’ Thrill of Hope and Mercy Me’s Christmas Sessions (and Nat King Cole,) we’ll be SET here at the Masters’ lair!! I know it’s early- it’s just that if the stores are already pushing the commercial side of the season, I feel kinda like I need to combat that with the real thing, ya know?
If you like what ya hear, write in on facebook and let me know what specifically resonates with you. Do you know anyone who might benefit from this discussion? Can I ask you to share this episode with them?
Thank you, Love!